Reading and its curse

Why must it be that when I read I get new ideas? Memes, Mr. Russell, they do take up a space in my mind. However these memes aren't very tangible, such as an advertisement or product. These memes are feelings, themes, motion sickness, the notion of truth, ideas involving sincerity, and the inevitable product of infidelity. Could it be that I find myself through the characters of others, or the characters I create? Could it be the music I listen to or the stories my parents my tell me in confidence? Maybe I long to be the young girl Neil Young constantly sings of, or maybe the lover of the late great Jim Morrison. Perhaps my characters are projections of my subconscious, or even my conscious. The only thing I do know is that my protagonist, Tom, wears his heart on his sleeve, like I so often do, and his horrible wife, Caroline, has my worst habits, and best.

I don't want to think anymore

Why am I stuck within my character's head so frequently. He's so deeply in love with someone he knows doesn't love him anymore. It hurts. I am starting to feel what he could be feeling... And it scares me.

Caroline and her behavior

I can't say that Caroline is a good woman, nor that I can say that the character that I've created has a purpose for her life. But for some odd reason, her husband is deeply in love with her. Perhaps it's because I've always wanted a person to stick by my side through thick and thin. But it could also be that I enjoy entertaining the idea that some people are leaders and others are helpless followers. Tom on the other hand will find that just because he was once a follower it does not acurately depict him to say that he will always be helpless. This is the story of Tom. Everything else...well, you'll see.

a story worth telling

I'm not saying I've cheated on a significant other before. I'm not saying I've been cheated on before. Then again I'm not saying that the above is true. So it's all about interpretation, creativity, and attempting to sound convinving. My story is in the point of view of the husband, Tom. And let me be clear about this too: I'm not a man. I don't know how all men think, but I can infer. I can imagine. So everything written, honestly, is a piece of fiction. Any resemblence to persons, living or dead, is PURELY coincidental. Seriously. But if it does resemble a person, somewhere, alive or dead... I'm watching you.

I've got some ideas from watching a couple of French films, namely "The Last Mistress" and "The Science of Sleep". Maybe my assumptions of French culture by these movies are skewed, but they very much help me. By the way, I'm allowed to swear (tastefully), right?

Day I

On this day, this day of days, I began my "short" story that will take on the role of my Daffodil Project. My story is about a middle aged man who discovers his wife of ten years is cheating on him. His heart wrenching odyssey into rage and paranoia continues. I've begun said story (entitled "Caroline"), and that shall be that.